her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
