saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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