these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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