id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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