haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
