I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
