this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
