Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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