She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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