I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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