If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
