Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize