I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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