I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
