did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
