watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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