Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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