i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize