I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
