You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
