thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
