I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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