I'm going to jail i love you
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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