Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
