When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
