A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
