he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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