super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
