i already hear my dad disowning me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
