Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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