...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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