Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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