I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
