How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i would punch a child for taco bell
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
