he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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