do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
