She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
