Pregnant stripper...not hot.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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