Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
