nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
