hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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