I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
