i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
