I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
