WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
