Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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