Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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