You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
