I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
