they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
