Do you still have your period?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
