How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just invented taco cereal.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
