Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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