can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
