some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
