I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
