after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize