I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
