puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
