I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
