sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
