I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have post one night stand depression
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