Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
