I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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